Thursday 17 April 2014

Thoughts and Update

Tulpa. The concept where something is willed into existence through sheer belief, spiritual or otherwise. More then one person has suggested that tulpa is the origin of my recurring visitor, that some stupid picture editing contest on Something Awful  resulted in this thing being willed into existence by thousands of gullible browsers of the internet.

I think that they are wrong. Humanity has always had a fear of the dark. For good reason. One of our major advantages biologically is our eyesight, which, although not as good as some other beings on this planet, is still damn impressive, and we have color vision, a massive advantage over other animals. But, we traded our night vision for it; Put frankly, we can't see shit in the dark. That's why we invented street lights. But maybe we're afraid of the dark because of what lives in it.

I went to the doctors today. Had a full examination, got asked some questions. Got a script for sleeping pills, as well as some off-the-shelf vitamin pills. Then I went to the local marae. Most of the elders weren't there, but one was. I asked him about any local legends or myths of creatures that took children, drove people mad, the usual. The elder gave me the usual Māori legends, monsters, even told me one of the Māui legends. That was kinda cool. But ultimately, unhelpful. He did give me a blessing, however, and blessed a hei matau for me (I ordered it a few days ago. Real greenstone, very nice). I thanked him and left.

And ye ol' tall and dapper was waiting for me. Funny thing, though. He was way away, far enough away that I didn't spot him at first. He moved a few times as I walked (well, closer to jogged as fast as I could without making a scene) back to my car. But he never came onto marae grounds. It's almost as if he wouldn't come onto marae grounds. This is interesting. As far as I know, he doesn't give a damn about boundaries or grounds. So why wouldn't he come onto the marae? Might be some history in this that the elder wouldn't tell me about. May need to look into this more.

Trip home was uneventful. Didn't see him the entire way. Had to stop to get some milk and stuff on the way, and found something that pissed me off. Some shit had spray-painted the Operator's symbol onto the side of the store. Seems like someone watched MH or played Slender and thought it would be a funny joke. Fuck him, I hope he gets taken before me. Might take the edge off his hunger.  Anyway, I'm going to go back with a brush and paint tomorrow, paint over it. No real reason, I just feel like it. Damn eyesore.

I feel safer. The hei matau might actually be helping. My cough has eased off a little as well. I also put that small text into Libre Office and blew the font size up. Mostly gibberish, doesn't translate to any code or programming language. But, there were caps and italics in amongst it. I AM WAITING and do not give in. One is fucking obvious and the other is... Somewhat comforting. Someone out there is rooting for me, in their own little way. Wish they would actually help me.

And then there's that Twitter shit. M. M M M. Who the fuck is this guy? Breaks into my house, starts my computer, leaves a Tweet and fucks off. Fucking bastard does nothing else. My car wouldn't start a few days ago, after work. Spent an hour fixing it. And my cough was really bad that day. Bastard's been following me.

Gonna go throw back a couple of this pills, see what happens. Probably put Comfortably Numb on repeat until I fall asleep/ pass out.

No comments:

Post a Comment